One method recommended by many coaches and counsellors is keeping a divorce journal. But recent research done by psychological scientist David Sbarra of the University of Arizona has shown that this might not be the best course of action for some. The unexpected results found that for some writing about how they felt, actually left some people feeling more emotionally distraught months down the line.
So, if you are some one who tends to ruminate about your feelings, dwell on them or have the tendency to find meaning in every experience, writing them in a divorce journal may be doing you more harm than good. With this research it is important to decide if journalling is right for you, so that you don’t cause yourself more anguish down the track. If you do decide to journal, use your divorce journal as a tool to assist you in working through your emotions rather than reiterating and anchoring how terrible you are feeling. Use your divorce journal to document your progress, the things that you are able to achieve, rather than writing out your feelings. Your effectiveness in solving challenges is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself.
So, using a divorce journal you can use work through your challenges by answering quality questions about your challenge. Here
are some examples of questions you can ask yourself to get a different perspective on your challenge:
- How is this challenge serving me?
- What skills or knowledge do I require to overcome this challenge?
- What would I not learn, had I not had this challenge?
- What else can it mean?
- What aspect of this challenge is exciting?
- What actions can I do right now to overcome this challenge?
- What other choices do I have?
Another way that you can source more answers is to put yourself in the shoes of others who have, or who you think are able to overcome this challenge, and answer the questions from their perspective. Once you have a fair amount of ideas you will be able to view your challenge from a different perspective moving you forward to being in a resourceful state.
If you would like to move forward with your divorce journal contact me today for a complimentary coaching session.