Separation or divorce is challenging.  You might be at the stage, where being able to pick your head up from the pillow each morning can seem to be the hardest thing to do.

One of the character traits that you will build as you work through this process, is determination.  Determination to make the changes that you need to make.  Determination that you are willing to go the extra mile to see you ex in a different way.   Determination to build a new life for yourself.  This is easier said than done.  It is very easy to get overwhelmed and slip into a life of acceptance and defeat.

When you feel that you have no will and that you just don’t have it in you.  Remember we all have determination build into us,  it’s just a matter of being able to consciously tap into it.   Determination often shows up in areas that you are the most comfortable,  so it’s natural that in your  current situation,  it is challenging to be aware of your innate determination.  You will need to make a conscious effort to remember the events in your life when you have displayed determination.    Keep listing as many as you can think of, the more you list the more you will become consciously aware of how you have determination within yourself.

The two words that that undermine your determination are “I can’t ….. ” .  These two words tell you soo much about how you are limiting yourself.  The next time you catch yourself saying “I can’t …”  turn it around and ask yourself  “What if I could…..”.   Think of all the new possibilities that your life might bring.  You don’t have to necessarily believe what you saying, you are just planting the seeds of what might be possible, which will broaden your vision.  Watch yourself and be sure to look at the positive possibilities, rather than the negatives.

Once you have played with the possibility, think of who you would need to BE in order to make these possibilities a reality.   Once you have listed at least 5 “being”,  look into your past to see where you have displayed this “being”.  It may be a little challenging at first but keep looking, you will find at least ten events where you have “being” that way.  Don’t stop at ten,  keep looking until you feel that it is possible for you to be that way again.  And then list seven things that you can do to either set yourself up to be that way, or to be that way.

Once you have your list, take action, each action that you take will move you forward to re-establishing the determination you require to recover and build the life of your dreams.

If you would like to move forward in your divorce recovery Contact Me for a complimentary coaching session.