Deciding to Divorce

Deciding to divorce or split with a long term partner should not be taken lightly, and all avenues should be explored to repairing the relationship.  If you have done all of this and truly feel that your relationship is over.  I believe it is a disservice to you, your partner, children and those around you if remain in the relationship. Deciding to divorce is challenging. For some it will be the most challenging process to go through.  When this is the case reasons to justify staying are created.  Below are the most common reasons which keep people in an unhappy relationship.

1. It will be better for the children

This is belief is often held by children of a very messy divorce, but what it is really about them not wanting to put their children through the emotional roller coaster that they had to endure.  You give to you children what you are currently experiencing.  If you are living in a unlovable or strained relationship will be evident in your behaviour.  This is what you will be passing on to your children.

2.  We can’t afford it

You may have monetary comforts as a married couple, and this makes it harder to end a relationship.  But there is no point in having money when you are dying inside.

According to The Washington Post, a law firm found that 20% to 25% of their clients, stated money as the main reason for not getting a divorce.  This has created a new trend – separated-but-living-together (SBLT).  You may live in a state which requires a period of separate residences before you can file for divorce.  If this applies to you, it can prevent you from filing for divorce.   Legally you could be liable for the other’s debts — both from past plus any new ones. If living together under roof is the only feasible solution if only for a short time, it is essential that you set some ground rules.

3.  We made a Promise

Exchanging vows of being together forever is powerful.  The truth is that everything changes. Everything is meant to change that is the nature of the world.  Until we are able to predict the future we can’t fully expect to make a promise of this nature.

If you would like assistance in deciding to divorce contact me to arrange a complimentary coaching session