Get over it!  Is probably something that you have heard, so time in your life.  Sometimes this is easy, but for the most part it is very challenging.  Logic says that you need to move but the voices in your head continue – over and over again.   So how do you get over it?  Are there steps that you can take to move on from the hurt, the anger, resentment and overwhelm?  I believe there are.

 The Eagles

1.  Why we struggle to get over it

Lets first look at why it is a struggle to get over things,  I think there are a few reasons but one that stands out for me is that we believe that the situation should be another way.  We get so stuck on feeling terrible about our current situation so we create a illusion or fantasy that if it were to be the opposite things would be so much better.  As time goes by, we seek out evidence to make ourselves right.  Amplifying the negatives of our current situation and the positive of the opposite.   The more intensely we concentrate on this the greater our fantasies and nightmares become.

2.  What you can do

What I’m going to ask you may seem counter intuitive.  This is probably because in today’s society we have become very polarised.  We have set rules of what is “right” and what is “wrong”.  So looking at the downside of “good” or the upside of “bad” seems to fly in the face of sanity.  Please bear with me and just give it a go.  If you do nothing different, nothing will change.  This is what you can do:  take the situation and then think of how you want it to be different.  Once you have this, now look at what the downside would be to this situation.

3.   It gets easier

At first this might seem impossible, but stick to it.  You will find that over time, this process becomes much easier.  As it becomes easier, the less you will become hooked into the dramas of life.  When you are not hooked into the dramas, you will get over it sooner, regardless of what “it” is for you.

get over it - Helen